Stop Panic-Googling—We Asked the Experts to Decode All Your Sexiest Sex Dreams

This one’s simple: “It could just be that you desire wealth,” Loewenberg says. “Sex dreams are not just about what you need but also what you desire for yourself, because sex is all about acting on desire.” A dream about boning a wildly rich person could be a very straightforward sign that you wanna be rich too. But you probably already know that about yourself.

Sex dreams about people from work are super common (these are, a little bit sadly, the people you see the most), and there are crucial distinctions between dreams about bosses and people who are your subordinates.In the case of someone who works for you, Loewenberg suggests thinking about what their job is, what they do for you, and what their job represents. Are they an assistant who keeps your entire schedule running smoothly? That could indicate you’re in need of an organizational overhaul, Loewenberg says.

Ever wake up feeling confused about why that person you met six months ago for, like, five minutes showed up in your steamiest dream ever? You’re far from alone—Loewenberg says this is a common sleep fantasy. She adds that dreams about acquaintances are not about being attracted to them, “but something about them.”

“What stands out the most, or what you remember most about them” is typically what'll show up in your dream, Loewenberg says. So in this case, first impressions really do matter.

Loewenberg has a rule she likes to apply to dreams about platonic friends. “Pick the first three things that come to mind when you think of that person, then apply them to yourself,” she says. So if you dream about having sex with your best friend, even if you aren’t at all sexually attracted to them, brainstorm the first three things you associate with that person and then see if any of those qualities or traits would be beneficial to you if you incorporated them into your own life.

The theme you should be picking up on is that sex dreams are less about the people who appear in them and more about what those people represent in your current life situation. Your subconscious is a tricky, tricky thing.

A sex dream about a coworker is very similar to having a sex dream about a platonic friend—you should apply that rule of three traits, but then think about the fact that you two are united by the workplace. “Do you need to unite with them for the sake of work?” Loewenberg says. “Or is there something about that coworker that would really benefit you if you united that quality into yourself?”

Sex dreams that involve a boss, though, are a bit different. The fact that this is someone who’s in a position of power over you is important. Loewenberg suggests thinking about whether you need to connect with your boss in some way, maybe on a project. She also says it could mean that you need to be more of a “boss” in various aspects of your life—look for areas in which there’s room for you to take charge more.

“When you dream of sex with your boss, you are considering a power and permission issue in your waking life,” says Wallace. “Your boss symbolizes how powerful you feel in making decisions and whether you can permit yourself to do so.”

We don't even want to say it, but sometimes you have a dream that makes you want to shower with a bottle of Clorox. But don't worry—if you dream about doing something nasty with someone you're related to, Loewenberg says this is not an underlying symptom of an Oedipus Complex."

Remember that in dreams—especially in sex dreams —it's not about the person but rather what quality or character trait stands out to you about that person," she says. "What is it about that relative—their personality, their abilities, or about their life—that you desire for yourself?"

Dreams about the person you aren’t currently boning can straddle the line between fantasy and nightmare, although Loewenberg reassures that having occasional sex dreams about other people is completely normal and fine. If it’s happening all the time, she encourages you to examine your actual sex life.

“Take a look at the frequency of your sex routine in real life,” Loewenberg says. “Are you just not getting enough from them? Or are you getting enough but not enough variety?”

Cheating dreams—which yes, are different from sex dreams that don't involve your S.O.—are dreams where you're consciously cheating on your partner, and Anderson says the theme here is self-betrayal. "For clues, ask yourself what the dream sex partner represents to you," she suggests. "For example, if you’re cheating with someone you regard as spontaneous, do you feel like you’re betraying your commitment to exercise every time you opt for a spontaneous alternative?"

Loewenberg also suggests paying attention to the emotion of the dream. "If you're feeling guilty in the dream, then it means there's something you're feeling guilty about in real life ... If the dream is absent of guilt, it may mean you're missing excitement."

While cheating on your partner in a dream probably doesn’t mean you’re literally thinking about stepping out, dream analyst and author Kelly Sullivan Walden says this dream could signify some kind of dissatisfaction in your relationship. “This dream could represent your internal struggle with loyalty, guilt, shame, and commitment issues.” Rather than freak out, take this dream as an opportunity to think through those tough feelings and figure out if there’s something (or something missing) in your relationship that needs to be addressed. “This dream may help you process your feelings and get a clearer perspective before you do something that you might regret,” says Walden.

Is there anything worse than waking up next to someone only to realize you dreamed about them cheating on you? Hell! It's hell! And unless you have a history of infidelity—which your brain could be picking up on—Loewenberg says it's not a red flag that your current S.O. is hooking up behind your back. Instead, it means you feel left out in some way by your partner.

"Sometimes your partner's work or hobby can feel like a third wheel in the relationship," she explains. "The subconscious is shining a light on the issue so you can correct it and continue on in the relationship where you both feel important and respected.

"But important: If you have been cheated on in the past, Loewenberg says this dream is a giant red flag that the betrayal is still a part of you. She suggests speaking to a professional to help you heal and come to terms with the trauma.

Loewenberg says the cheat sheet for interpreting basically any sex dream is to think about what stands out most about the person you’re sleep-boning. Which isn’t always something as simple as physical attraction, as is the case in dreams about people you aren’t even attracted to. “What stands out about their personality? What is it about them that first comes to mind?” Loewenberg suggests asking. “Something about them is what your subconscious desires and wants you to incorporate into yourself.”

Sex dreams with celebrities typically mean one of two things: Either you just think that celeb is super hot and having sex with them is a legitimate fantasy of yours, or if they seem like a random celeb you’re not really that into, you should apply Loewenberg’s rule of three to this situation as well. But instead of the way you apply her rule for a platonic friend, notice the first three things that come to mind when you think about why that person is famous. Are they a musician? If so, Loewenberg suggests looking to some of their popular song lyrics to see if there’s a message hidden for you there. Again, your subconscious is a tricky lil devil.

Wallace suggests a dream about a celeb might also indicate a desire to tap into your own talents and creative potential. It’s less about wanting to bone a celeb and more about the success celebrity status signifies. “This dream is shining the spotlight on your hidden talents and encouraging you to develop your potential skills,” says Wallace. “The more that you recognize your potential for development, the more recognized and celebrated you will become by other people.

Not quite the same as a dream with a regular celeb! A sexy dream about someone like the president could be a sign that you need to get better at “governing your own life and your affairs,” Loewenberg explains.

With other politicians, the dream is probably more about their platform and what they represent to you. “Their platform is speaking to you on some level, and you need to merge that into your own behavior,” Loewenberg says.

If you’re dreaming about having sex with an ex, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean you're secretly still in love with them and should dump your current partner immediately. In fact, definitely don’t do that. Loewenberg says sex dreams involving an ex, particularly your first love, are the most common type of sex dream.

“If it’s been a long time since this person’s been in your life, it’s not about them but about what they represent: first love, the passion, excitement, being desired, desiring someone,” Loewenberg says. She adds that the first love reminds us of a time when we felt alive and everything was very vibrant, and so they show up for a few reasons—like when your current relationship status is dry, if you’re lonely, or if you’re in a relationship that feels routine or unexciting.

“It’s a gentle reminder from your subconscious that this excitement is something you need to bring back into your relationship,” Loewenberg says. “Find a way to spice it up and bring back the spark and passion.”

If a sex dream about your first love makes you feel nostalgic and fuzzy, a dream about a toxic or abusive ex likely does the opposite, but Loewenberg says it's actually a very common theme. What's even stranger is that oftentimes dreams where you get back together with your bad news ex are usually pleasurable, which makes them even more shudder-inducing.

Anderson says it's important to remember that dreams are symbolic, so this absolutely is not a sign to call them or get back together in your waking hours. Oftentimes, sweet dreams about sour exes mean you're processing the issues you had and are either coming to peace with that part of your past, explains Loewenberg, or identifying those patterns in areas of your life today, adds Anderson. Do a lil inner work to figure out which it is.

The faceless stranger dream is probably most widely known for its reference in When Harry Met Sally after Sally says her oldest sex fantasy is that a “faceless guy” rips off all her clothes and that’s the sex dream she’s been having since she was 12. But despite Harry’s confusion at Sally’s fantasy scenario, Loewenberg says the “mystery lover” dream is actually the second most common theme to dreams about exes.

“It doesn’t mean there’s someone out there waiting for you and you’re dreaming about them,” she says. “This is really more about yourself. The mystery lover symbolizes some aspect of yourself that you’re trying to get to know and utilize in your own life.” The faceless person represents a desire for you to be more authoritative and assertive in your daily life.

“Everyone in your dream is an aspect of you, whether familiar or unfamiliar,” says Walden. So being sexual with a stranger in a dream is really about connecting with a new part of yourself. Take this dream as an opportunity to tap into an aspect of your personality or identity that you haven’t fully acknowledged yet.

If you’re a woman who isn’t normally attracted to other women, same-sex sex dreams are still very common, according to Loewenberg. “If it seems weird and random to have that dream, remember it’s not really about [having that curiosity] but more about what the person you’re having sex with represents,” she says.

Think about the qualities the woman who appears in your dream represents—is she particularly nurturing, strong, or kind? And think of things you’ve done lately that make you really proud of your gender. Did you get praise for completing a big project in your male-dominated office? Are you newly volunteering for a women’s equality cause? Or maybe you’re secretly looking for an opportunity like that.

Walden adds that dreams about someone of a specific gender might also be about connecting with whatever feminine or masculine energy you feel within yourself. “You might consider this dream symbolic of deeply connecting with the sensual god or goddess within.”

Angry sex can be great, but having sex with someone you absolutely despise in your dream seems cruel and unfair. But still, it’s worth figuring out why you’re spending your precious sleeping hours thinking about someone you can’t stand.

“It could be that your subconscious mind is urging you to find a way to connect with that person, to come together on some level with them for the sake of your sanity,” Loewenberg suggests. “It’s not good energy to carry around hate.”

She says it could also mean this person has some skill or personality trait you’d like for yourself. Maybe they’re a really good dancer, and you’d like to be a good dancer. Or they have a job you think you deserve. Try to think about what they have going on in their life, not just the fact that they appeared naked in your dreams.

This is an extremely common sex dream scenario! If it’s a teacher or professor you have a crush on, this sex dream is a simple hot for teacher type of thing, Loewenberg says. But if you didn’t or don’t have an IRL crush on them, she suggests thinking about the subject they teach rather than their biceps or perfect hair.

“If it was your English teacher, maybe there’s some need for better communication in your life right now,” Loewenberg says. “Or if it was your math teacher, it could be a need to get better at your finances.”

According to Wallace, dreaming about a teacher might also be about analyzing your success. “A teacher symbolizes both the encouragement to develop your unique talents and the permission to learn more about your creative potential,” says Wallace. “This dream often indicates that you are critically examining your achievements in waking life.”